Throwing an Inclusive Wedding // A Guide
Whether you and your partner are in the queer community or not, having an inclusive and safe wedding for you and your guests is SO important! Here are some things you can do to ensure everyone involved in your celebration feels comfortable and safe.
Ask for Pronouns
Asking for your guests’ pronouns is a very simple thing to do, but it often gets overlooked. You can include a questionnaire in your invites (dinner option, plus one, pronouns, etc) or directly on your wedding website RSVPs. Remember that everyone has the right to change their pronouns at any time, and assuming how someone identifies is never okay. Even if you have known someone for forever, asking for pronouns is always a welcome question and it allows loved ones to update you if preferences have changed.
Tip: When you send out your invites avoid using Mr./Mrs./Ms. and stick to first and last names instead.
Uniformity is Out!
Don’t force your wedding party into clothes they feel uncomfortable in. It is so easy to have a cohesive look without stuffing everyone into identical dresses/suits.
While we are at it - ditch tradition and have non-gendered and mixed gendered wedding parties. Your friends and family are your biggest supporters, so don’t let tradition stand in the way of them standing up for you on your big day.
Tip: Creating a color palate and mood board will give your wedding party a cohesive look while still allowing for individuality and clothing your wedding party feels confident and happy in.
Let Them Come As They Are
This should go without saying, but it is never okay to ask your wedding party or guests to alter their appearance for your wedding. A good rule of thumb is this: if you are asking a person to alter a permanent aspect of their physical appearance, you are crossing a line.
People come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and gender binaries and that’s what makes us all unique and beautiful. You are asking a favor of your loved ones to stand up in your wedding and support you, so besides setting a color palate, you should let your wedding party come as they are.
Hire LGBTQIA+ Inclusive Wedding Vendors
Specifically, hire vendors that are proud to call themselves allies and feature queer couples in their portfolios. Even if you aren’t queer, you should create a space where your queer friends and family feel safe.
Tip: I have a vendor list, available upon request, of Wisconsin businesses committed to inclusivity in the wedding industry.
Don’t Invite Guests Who Aren’t Safe
If you have relatives or friends who will go out of their way to say hateful things to your guests and wedding party, then the safe bet is to leave them off the guest list.
